Decide on what it is that you really want!

 

by: Martha Miller

 

How do you come up with what it is that you want from life, in life and/or achieve from life? This is a real simple strategy, You FOCUS on what you have put smart goals around!

 

Now I know what most of you are thinking, I’ve tried that or I do that. No You Don’t! Focus is a process where you keep your mind on what it is that you want without drifting into 100 other areas including why you don’t think you can have it.

 

It is human nature for your mind (ego), to offer resistance toward change. Why? Because your ego is convinced that you are absolutely safe right where you are. Also, who knows better than your own ego about yourself? If your ego knows one thing better than anything else about you, it’s how to get you to quite or give up on something.

 

This really is the job of your ego to keep you safe. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have the reasoning power that you have developed with your conscious mind. It remembers what you were like as a child and it had to use cunning tactics, fears and feelings/emotions to keep you in-line and possibly alive.

 

The ego still perceives you as a child and the way you started out in life. So when you decide that it is time to make changes for creating a better life for yourself, the fight is on and the ego is going to find any reason it can to stop you right now.

 

Most people do not have enough conviction to take on even the criticism that the ego will throw at them let alone, the full arsenal of fears, feelings/emotions and related tactics it will employ to slap you down and put you in your place.

 

You see the trick is to have so much dedication and conviction for whatever you want to go after, that the subconscious mind starts working on the creation (what you want), because the ego is loosing the battle from day 1 in preventing you from achieving what you want.

 

The subconscious doesn’t care one way or the other, much like a computer. It just goes to work on whatever it is you are putting energy (focus) into without reservation.

 

Here’s a little better analogy to describe what I am saying here:
If you were to sit around and worry about paying your bills without a plan to rectify your situation, you are just going to manifest more bills or debt because that is where you are focusing all of your attention. The subconscious simply evaluates the situation and says, “Well, since this is what we are putting all of our energy on we obviously need more of it (debt)”. This is the essence of the law of attraction (LOA).

 

I hope you get the picture on this because it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy once the wheels are in motion. You are attracting exactly what you are putting your focus on and the universe will deliver it to you every time without failure. You have to realize that you are creating every situation in your life based upon your focus, emotions and beliefs (how you conceive it in your mind).

 

We do this as individuals, groups and communities. This is why situations get worse in the world when the majority of people are sitting around sending out all of their negative energy toward a person, place or thing that they don’t like. You can not improve a situation by sitting around criticizing it personally and/or with a bunch of other people in hopes that it is somehow going to make it go away. It just adds more fuel to it.

 

This is why goals or a process of achievement is so valuable in turning things around in life. Once you formulate a plan of action and you’re dedicated to the execution of that plan it immediately redirects your focus. Now your attention or energy is on creating a solution to rid you of your problem.

You should also start visualizing the end result to help solidify your belief and strengthen your commitment to it.

 

Soon you will develop a drive to complete your goal and as long as you remain focused on the end result there is very little that can stop you from achieving it.

 

To read through what I have just described about goals may sound logical and easy to accomplish, but it is not easy to see it through. Again, your ego will have many distractions along the way to discourage your efforts. (e.g. This is taking to long. You are not any good with long-term projects like this. How long do you think you can keep this up? Hey, even if you succeed, you will just turn around and be in the same mess a year from now. In the end result no one is going to care that you accomplished this task, you’re just kidding yourself in thinking it will make any difference in your life. etc. etc. etc….).

 

If you buy into the ego’s tactics, You Lose! You must have the state of mind to stop these discouraging thoughts dead in their tracks when your mind first starts to bombard you with such non-sense.

 

I hope this is giving you some insight as to why many people are adamant about writing down your goals. Simply thinking about them will not get it accomplished 90% of the time. The ego is a formidable adversary when it comes to derailing your intentions. This is why so many people fail to achieve their dreams. They under-estimate the self in going after those desires and simply cave because they are not prepared for the fight that is going to ensue once they try to go forward with their desires.

 

Now when you look around the internet you will see several posts and documents telling you about SMART Goals Setting. SMART is an acronym that stand for: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely, for when you are creating your goals. This is good information and it is definitely relevant in regard to goal planning. However, I have a little different take on it. Smart Goals are ones that you are not going to give up on no matter what is thrown at you. Trust me, that is exactly what it is going to require to see it through to completion.

 

Again, be prepared for the fight of your life and do not under-estimate what the ego will throw at you constantly as you are moving through the process to achieve your desires. You’ll have a pretty good idea when you have passed the half-way mark in achieving what it is that you’ve set out to. The resistance level to move forward will seem practically non-existent at that point. That’s not to say that there won’t be a bump or two along the way but it will seem very manageable in comparison to what you’ve experienced previously.

 

I could go on an on about this subject matter but this is turning into a long post as it is. Comment on what I have said here and if there is some interest in it, I will create a “Part II” to this article.

 

To Your Success,
Martha Miller

 

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by: Martha Miller

When you stop and think about it, the word “Impossible”, is just a word.

Everyone, at some point of his or her life, has dreamed of being somebody special, someone big. Who hasn’t fantasized about being the one who hits the game-winning homer? Who hasn’t dreamed of being the homecoming queen? And how many times have we dreamed of being rich, successful, and/or happy with our relationships?

Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic.

This is a sad turn of events in our life. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.

But you know what? Life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.

In essence, learn how to dream your life.

The most common problem to setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can’t do this. It’s too hard. It’s too impossible. No one can do this. In actuality if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.

Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Fortunately for the bumble bee, no one has ever told it so. So it just flies in spite of that belief.

On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations.

One other point I would like to cover here, in the western culture we are obsessed with doing. We think that if we don’t do something, nothing will get done. This is false when you realize there is only so much that one person can do.

In actuality, we wind up creating in reverse because so much of our doing is done while feeling stressed out and pressured to produce something. Often, the end result is far from what was expected and now we get to do it all over again. Sometimes it has to be repeated many times before the desired result is ever achieved.

This happens largely because none of our doing was accomplished in harmony with our thoughts and feelings. Therefore, the creation was attempted with panic, stress, hurried and anxiety types of thought and feelings. You will discover that when things feel harmonious and sync up with your thinking, that the doing aspect will then feel like the next logical step in the process. It will be accomplished with far less effort on your part as well.

If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.

Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that you feel are ‘impossible for you to do.’

Now look at all the headers and position yourself so that every day you are working toward those goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them off when you accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, work on accomplishing the goals under the other header-the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’

As of the items you wrote under things I could do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are under things that are ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do.’

As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. And the impossible start to seem possible after all.

You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high, and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic for you personally.

Those who just dream towards a goal without working toward it end up disappointed and disillusioned.

On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now realities.

Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. I think that Edison also had a strong belief in doing. I see it as 80% inspiration and 20% perspiration, but that may just be me. For one to accomplish his or her dreams, there has to be effort put forth and discipline is the major key. But take note that 80% inspiration or 1%, in Edison’s case, has to be think-big dreams, and not an easily accomplished one.

So dream on my friend! Don’t get caught up with your perceived limitations. Think big and move forward with attaining those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will begin to discover that the impossible has just become a little bit more attainable.

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By: Martha Miller

There are many methods and ideas around self motivating techniques that work similar to the way that willpower is an essential ingredient in achieving success. Discouragement and lack of motivation will likely hinder you from achieving your objectives. And it comes down to what you and you alone devise to keep your drive alive.

Visualizing goals will speed up the time on whatever you are working towards. It maybe something material like a car, house or a vacation you have been looking forward to for a long time. Cut out a picture of it and post it in a conspicuous place at work or at home where you see it often. This way, when you are feeling discouraged, this is a reminder of your goal or desire.

A very clever self motivating technique is to make up a contract with yourself. According to motivational researches, people who write down to-do-lists are far more triumphant in achieving their intended goals than those people who just keep a mental list. In theory, the more emphasis that you create around accomplishing something the faster you will achieve it.

Putting things in writing somehow makes it more powerful psychologically speaking. This may also be the basis why most cultures have such a high regard in honoring contracts. In the contract, you may also include a certain reward that you will give to yourself once you accomplish the task.

After all, we like to be rewarded for completing a good job. Even a pat on the back, may do the trick to give the person the additional push to carry on, but unfortunately, these may not always be readily available.

Considering that these are also essential in keeping oneself motivated, you must learn to find a way to get that encouragement on your own by pleasing yourself.

Abusive people simply lower your self-esteem and tend to bring you down. Do whatever you can to get these negative people out of your life. By surrounding yourself with positive people, helps to keep your focus on target. Imitate their example. Smile amply and think great thoughts about you and your desires.

These will give you a brighter outlook and lets you see a clearer picture of what you really want and a fresh mind to know what steps to take to get there. Rather than waiting for things to happen, try to be proactive and make it happen. Inactivity idles the brain and stagnates your potential to reach your goals.

Read inspirational books and literature. These will help you improve your attitude and heal your mind. A book of success stories also proves to be encouraging. You will not only learn from others’ experiences and derive confidence boosting insights from them but the story will be instrumental in motivating you to go for your goal and move ahead with your plans. If this still seems to falter, get training or education.

Oftentimes, not knowing how or where to start is frustrating. Knowledge is power. Having a clear understanding of how and where to start is empowering and it will provide the extra drive needed to hit the mark you are aiming at and follow it through.

Whatever it is that you have been meaning to do, or wanting to achieve, go after it! Actually getting your hands dirty best solves the problem of motivation. By “forcing” yourself to just do it, your momentum will pick up gradually as you go along and before you know it you have finished the task or have finally achieved your goal.

Break down what may seem unattainable into small achievable steps. Not only does it become less overwhelming, but seeing the “in the meantime” results will further your confidence that it can indeed be done.

Lack of motivation happens to everyone, but if you do not encourage yourself to accept opportunities and be challenged, no one else will. It is most important to keep your eye on the goal, find ways to keep going, and in no time, you shall reap its benefits.

And if at the beginning you were just doing it for the material reward, you will also learn to realize that the fulfillment, satisfaction and self-achievement you derive from reaching your goal is a much enjoyable high that will keep the drive within constantly burning.

In addition to the ideas and information that I have included in this post there are many other tools, concepts and products that can help keep you motivated and achieving even greater accomplishments going forward. Many are available on this blogsite and others are located at my website.

If you need to boost your confidence, feed your mind with subliminal messages, conceptualize a new reality with mind movies or maybe you just need to save your marriage. The point is if you are feeling stuck or believe you are at a disadvantage, please check out the material this site has to offer and get started today. There are links to the right of this post and free downloads on the website.

Go here to see all posts on this blog site

To Your Success,
Martha Miller

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by: Martha Miller

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===> 10 reasons why self-empowerment leads to greater success.

Defined Goals Image

Defined Goals

Have you ever met a person so naturally friendly that when placed in a room full of strangers, they would be friends with practically everyone within 30 minutes? We call this type of individual a people-person, someone so seemingly gifted with charisma that they could likely charm others into doing practically anything.

 

These socially-empowered people achieve incredible greatness, largely due to other people that launch them toward success. They earn trust and full support of others, whom he/she has helped previously. They are never in need of help. They can accomplish major feats because of the people that back them continually. All because he/she knows how to maximizes their social abilities! The real secret of personal success related to people, is planning goals around people.

 

So, when you utilize your social skills, you begin to obtain self-empowerment. Self-empowerment is a process of making distinct changes in your life that turn you into a happier, more successful person. Once you’ve successfully developed those people-person skills, then there really isn’t any reason why you would not succeed. You just need to start planning goals related to the following key areas:

 

1. Become a genuine person:

Displaying signs of hypocrisy will simply take you down in the eyes of other people. Being genuine entails a sincerity that is both calming and interesting to people. Once people have identified you as a person that says one thing but turns around and does something different, you might as well say goodbye to self-empowerment.

2. Be the best listener that you can be.

To actually earn peoples trust, listen to their problems and be compassionate toward them. Do not just hear them out, but really listen to what they are saying. Make direct eye contact when the person talks to you. Listen as if every word mattered, because it does. Kudos to you when they find out that there is a confidante in you.

3. Laugh out loud (a little bit).

I do not mean to force yourself to laugh for every joke cracked by someone, especially if you see nothing funny about it anyway. This just means that you find humor in things and not being so serious. A person displaying an awesome sense of humor attracts crowds and also attracts success.

4. Don’t forget yourself.

The process of acting like a social butterfly, you might forget yourself, allowing people to push you around. Remember, love and appreciate yourself most of all. If you deem yourself to be respectable and worthy of affection, people are going to flock to you and not run you over.

5. Perform some random acts of kindness.

You don’t have to donate your savings to charity. Small acts of kindness matter the most, and this can be as simple as surprising someone with a caring card or helping an elderly person cross the street. When we were young children, simple acts of kindness were taught to us and greatly practiced. It is now time to revive our good deeds and this time, let’s keep those values for good.

6. Get back in touch with some old friends.

It is amazing how certain friendships seem to be destined to goodbye. In certain instances we will grow apart from individuals that seem to be close to the same mindset as when they graduated from high school. However, there are others that we simply lose track of over time. Thanks to technology we can usually rekindle these friendships by reaching out to them via email, phone call or text message. Revisit the good times by flipping your yearbook, do an online people search or ask a friend that has managed to stay in touch. Look for those great people whom you want to communicate with again. Adding some old friends to your roster of support peers will not only bring back some good memories but make help you feel connected again.

7. Work with the development of your personality.

Do you have a generally pessimistic outlook on life? Does it cause you to be grumpy and irritable most of the time? Wow, you can’t go through life being like that. Work on getting rid of the bad traits and habits that are hampering your growth. And really, who wants to be around an old crotchety grouchy person anyway?

8. Become a confident person.

Be one of those people that can stride over to the other side of the room and proudly introduce yourself to another person with that winning smile of yours. Keep in mind that you want to be confident, not arrogant.

9. Practice controlling your emotions.

When you get upset, don’t snap at other people. Never throw tantrums. Stay calm and collected. Be the kind of person that can take control of a situation and transform your anger into something more productive. As soon as people see you blowing your stack or your anger sends you out of control, most people will find it difficult to want to come to you or even be around you for that matter.

10. Keep nurturing your relationships.

Your relationship with friends, family and loved ones are too precious for you to neglect regardless of what happens. Go out and enjoy being with them and doing things together. Happiness will always be with you as long as the people that matter

the most, remain closest to you.

In the end result, using people for self-empowerment is about becoming a better and more lovable person. It’s a win-win situation: People know they can turn to you anytime and vice versa.

In this article I have given you some great ideas and benefits to developing goals related to self-empowerment, but did you know that there is a quicker way to accomplish this by developing additional areas at the same time? To find out how to make the most out of your personal development goals visit the Motivation Life Change Website

 

To Your Success,
Martha Miller

Looking for something to aid in your quest to feel good, draw success using simple steps? Go Here

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By: Martha Miller

10 ways to start taking control of your life.

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At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder to manage those challenges and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows people with ADD to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows us to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself
It’s much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For
Stresses and challenges don’t seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member’s bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them.

Don’t waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner “You’re ALWAYS late!” or complained to a friend “You NEVER call me!”? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’ makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can’t hold any power over you if you don’t judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don’t follow it.

6. Squash the “ANTs”
In his book “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life,” Dr. Daniel Amen talks about “ANTs” – Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like “Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me,” or “The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!” When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice Lovin’, Touchin’ & Squeezin’ (Your Friends and Family)
You don’t have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn’t touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination
If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It’s never productive, because it’s not rational or solution-oriented, it’s just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment – go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.

When it comes to the corporate world, protocol is pretty much the religion. To know the things needed to do are the basics of productivity, but interaction and having a steady mind makes up the entire thing to true productivity.

There are those who seem to work well even under pressure, but they’re uncommon ones and we are human and imperfect. To get these little things like stress under our skins won’t solve our problems. Sometimes it takes a bit of courage to admit that we’re turning to be workaholics than tell ourselves that we’re not doing our best.

To learn more ways to take charge of challenges and other factors regarding your desires and overall happiness – Check out the Motivation Life Change Website:

 

To Your Success,
Martha Miller

Looking for something to aid in your quest to feel good, draw success using simple steps? Go Here

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By: Martha Miller

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Sometimes our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap us up and we come up with the idea “I wish I was somebody else.”  More often than not, we start to believe that others are better than us – when in reality, the fact is, they are more afraid than we are and just don’t show it. Most of us give very little thought about the benefits of raising self esteem or learning to love yourself.

You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a glass of Asti Spumanti. You think to yourself, “She looks so perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read thru her transparent mind, you would see a bunch of clouds of thoughts and you might just be amazed that she’s thinking “are people talking about why I am seated here alone? Why don’t guys find me attractive? …I don’t like my ankles, they look too skinny… I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”

We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “Wooh… what else could he ask for?” He stares at himself at the mirror and murmur to himself, “I hate my big eyes… I wonder why my friends won’t talk to me… I hope mom and dad would still work things out.”

Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and think of the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self esteem activities and raising self esteem because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.

Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting off your finger nails, having a foul mouth, and you – of all people, are the last to know.

I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever she’s around, and she doesn’t notices how badly she became socially handicapped – gradually affecting the people in her environment.

One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am ill-mannered?”,  “Do I always sound so argumentative?”,  “Do I talk too loud?”,  “Does my breath smell?”,  “Do I ever bore you when were together?”.  In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement.

Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and don’t give her answers like “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!”  Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her improve her self.

One of Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.

Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself are a representation and a product of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.

Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on.  Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them.

We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life need not be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel content and happy.

For information about this and other topics vist the Motivation Life Change Website

 

Too Your Success,
Martha Miller

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